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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Ball of nerves

That's me-I tried to keep myself occupied today with doing some simple projects, but I didn't get far.  I got winded very quickly and started getting cramps so I quit. Sat in my green lazy-boy and spent some time on Pinterest.

Tomorrow is a big deciding factor on the rest of our lives.  We go in for our first blood test and hope to hear high numbers with the phone call. If not-I will be sad-but I know there is nothing I can do about it. God has a plan for me and I must follow it-even if I feel it is unfair.  I have one perfect little boy that I absolutely adore!  Last night he asked me, "so do you think there is a baby in there?", pointing to my stomach. I reply with a "I don't know?"  He walks away saying, "I sure hope there is and I don't care if it's a brother or a sister!"

I sure hope he's right-and I don't care if it's a brother or a sister either. I don't care if this little embryo split into 2--I just want a new bundle of joy to love and hold. I want my son to grow up with a sibling that he can love, fight with, grow up with, be there for.

Dear God,  I pray for a blessing, a miracle.

-me

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