Wait...

So, another month has gone by in my life. Another disappoinment. Every month I hope that just one egg made it out and met a seed to turn into a beautiful life inside me. Every month. Yes--every month I feel disappointment. It only lasts for a day or so and then I feel normal again, but I do go through this every month and I have gone through this for the last --oh let's say 11 years of marriage.  I pray daily for the chance to be a mother again, to give Ryder the chance to be a big brother, for Quay to be a father of 2. My prayers go unanswered.

I came across this poem today and it really hit the nail on the head. I will wait.

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . wait.

Ahhh socks!

I love being a housewife/stay at home mom, but I really dislike some of the stuff that goes along with it. Like cleaning. I really don't enjoy doing it. Must be why it doesn't get done often enough. And laundry. I don't mind throwing the clothes in the washer or the dryer-but what comes next absolutely has to be the worst thing ever-folding and hanging. 



This morning I was in a 'mood'. Okay-so I have been in a 'mood' state of mind for a few days now. Bless my husbands heart that he is still alive living in this house.  I went to sort laundry this morning and what do my wondering eyes spy? Socks (and lots of them) all inside out.  This is a BIG pet peeve of mine. I thought I had trained him years ago how NOT to put your socks in the hamper, but I guess his brain must have erased that life lesson.  I informed him that they will go into my washing machine "as-is" and then into his drawer "as-is".  Lo and behold-when I went to actually do those loads a few hours later-the socks had all magically turned themselves the right way. Hmm.  My son has inherited this inside-out gene from my husband, but I have also since trained him the right and wrong of hampering.

I hate when I get in this "state of mind". No one can really do right by me, it's my way or the highway buddy. The lady in billing got a piece of my mind on Monday because of their assanine billing, today someone else almost got another piece of it on the phone because some dumb "credit card services" keeps calling my house twice a day and it always states on the answering machine that 'this is your last chance'. I sure wish they would keep that promise. Because today when I actually picked up the phone and "George" answered and I said immediately "TAKE MY NAME AND NUMBER OFF THIS LIST!!!!" , he hung up on me! The nerve!!  So we called back right away and got some kind of recording. Scammers.  If they call again tomorrow I will be prepared.

I am hoping to be in a better mood tomorrow-but I am not making any promises.

I just realized I never posted the Christmas gifts I made with my Silhouette machine. They turned out great!! I need to make myself one now!

They were fun to make also. I would love to make them for other people, but I would have to figure out a price. I could do any saying/verse really, and characters are almost endless. I think I will pin them to my pinterest and see what happens. :)