Saturday, October 20, 2012

Fall wreaths


So, I have been busy lately making my fall wreath.
I used a pool noodle from the Dollar Tree for the wreath itself.
I wrapped it in yarn, then made all my own flowers. They are made from old clothes or fabric remnants that I had. Some of the clothes were my grandpa's old shirts.
After I finished it, and my mom said she loved it, I decided to make her one as well.
For mom's I wrapped the pool noodle in fabric, and again made all my own flowers from the same fabrics. I thought it would be fitting to have some of her dad's old shirts on her wreath as well.
Then I also made one for my mother-in-law.
I wrapped this one in fabric as well and made the flowers out of fabric she picked out.
I was a busy lady for a week!

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Friday, October 19, 2012

Oh boy!!

Well, so many things have happened where do I start?
The big news first I guess....I am a new auntie!! My sister in law had the baby on Sept 25th. A BOY!!
He is so absolutely adorable. His name is Oakley. And he is coming to stay at my house in one month while mama and daddy are at work.
He had to stay in the hospital a little longer than normal, but he's been home for a couple weeks now and adjusting well according to his mama.
 Look at that precious face!
 I got some snuggle time in while he was in the hospital
 Proud new uncle...aka my hubby
 Ryder and his new cousin
The little mama and her new boy.
Okay-so fall has set in here in ND. Ryder made some leaf piles a couple weeks ago. It's his annual tradition to rake and jump. Good thing he did it before we had the hurricane force winds for the last 2 days!!

We had a wedding last weekend. My cousin married her sweetheart. It was a lot of fun and of course a good family photo op!
Quay bought Ryder a truck. Definitely a fixer-upper. But they have several years to get to it. Ryder loves it!!
Quay turned 34 on Tuesday of this week. He has caught up to me again. Hehe. I still feel young, so that's all that counts right?
 What's a birthday without goofy pictures?
Ain't he handsome!
Oh and the other big news.....I chopped off all my hair. I needed a change. If you have made it through most of my post, you maybe noticed in our family pic above. But here's one from today, didn't put on much makeup and did minimal styling, but it still looks pretty good.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

I wish

I am still battling with the inftertility "demons". 
I can say I am past it, but I am not.
 I can put on a happy face, but inside it's eating me alive.
 I can say I won't go through IVF again, but I would.
I can say, no adoption isn't for us, but I think it could be.
When will this go away?  This feeling like I am incompetant as a woman because I can't have a baby, with or without medical intervention. It has always seemed like the easiest thing in the world-people have babies everyday. Until now.
 Why me? I have so much love to give, and I think my son is getting smothered with it (not that that's a bad thing).
why why why why why
That is what goes through my head over and over and over. I get no answer.
I see a woman carrying a baby, or a woman with 3-4-5 kids and think--why can she have so many and I can't be blessed with the "pregnant" gene.
I don't curse these women-I envy them. I wish I could be like them-fertile.
Then I hear or read about a women complaining about being pregnant and think-REALLY!! You have been blessed with a new life-what is wrong with you!!? Do you know how many women wish they could get pregnant and here you are complaining about it!!?
I pray, almost daily, that God would give us another child.
Do I feel like my prayers are unanswered?....yes, I do.
Do I feel shameful about this because I already have a beautiful son who is the best child anyone could ask for?...yes, I do.
Why do we always want more in life?
Why isn't what I have good enough?
Why is life so full of heartache?
why why why why...there they go again
I just wish, hope, pray, long, yearn for a new life to be growing inside me. Please.